I don't usually write unless something's been stuck on my mind
and a lot of the time it is about things that I can't get away from
I've spent some of my extra time going on walks the past few days
because I'm trying to understand myself better
specifically with things that are hard to face
or are painful to think about
I'm doing this because
I've noticed with myself when I'm overwhelmed
or feeling a lot of tension or gloom in life
that I normally try to distract myself from those thoughts
and forget that they are going on
as a sort of self-medication
and it works
it's like taking a painkiller where
the pain is still there
but the perception of pain is taken away
and so I'm trying to get away from that
and embrace the difficult moments
to meaningfully take time to be careful with my thoughts
so that they aren't running around in my head at night
and to learn more from it
and be able to move past it
