I am motionless
my head rested at the foot of my bed
the evening sun is bleeding through my closed blinds
orange stripes
the ceiling fan whirs above me
its cycle is holding me
like an infant
I've been awake
but I cannot recollect the day
when will it be tomorrow
My body is frigid
my fingers are stiff
but my head is cooking
from my burning charcoal heart
I can feel it beating in my ears
My eyes are locked at the ceiling
but focused on nothing
another dead thought surfaces
in the back of my head
Suddenly, I am overcome with emotion
My chest weighs down on me
Every breath I take is conscious
and my lungs are fighting me
I feel motion sickness
I am overwhelmed with
Visions of the past
memories from dreams
leeching regrets
lost friends
my breaths are stuttering
the salty tears burning my eyes
the painful thoughts start to disappear
as I begin to realize
that the only thing that is important
is this bed and this ceiling fan
I am without direction
but I am hopeful
I find my way to the front door
step outside
and breathe in the toasted summer air
I don't know what tomorrow is
but I'm ready for it
